I finally got myself out to see “Rocketman” a pseudo biopic of the great Elton John. Even if you are not a fan of his music (but can you not be??) you will be for sure be impressed with his musical genius. The way he writes music to songs is mind-blowing.
But that is not actually what impressed me most about the film.
What stayed me long after the movie credits rolled was how crappy Elton’s childhood was. Perhaps that “just the way people raised kids in England then” but the level of emotional neglect and coldness he was raised in surprised me.
Now Elton is not the first person to be raised by inept parents and certainly will not be the last, but it does beg the question:
Can you ‘get over’ a bad childhood? Yes.
What is it was really bad? Even abusive. Yes.
What if it was fraught with dysfunction and tragedy at every turn? Yes.
How do I know? Because I am an alchemist. And so are you if you choose to be.
Because a bad (even really, really bad) childhood is not actually the thing that stays with you. It is the beliefs you created about yourself along the way. I am unlovable or I am unworthy are the two most common beliefs that are born out of people treating you badly. And like Elton, it can lead to you finding dysfunctional ways to find love or worse, not believing you are worthy of it at all.
And that my friend is simply false.
Which is why alchemy is called for here. The term itself comes from science and relates to the transmutation of metals - like lead into gold. Alchemy in personal development is pretty much the same thing. Take an old limiting belief or story and turn it into gold. Find the gem in how this old story taught you a powerful lesson and lean into it.
An alchemist always challenges beliefs about the self - especially if those beliefs are negative and self-limiting. I have coached heaps of people who carry around some old beliefs that often get in the way of them building a thriving business, leading empowered teams, having healthy relationships or in how they treat their body.
If this sounds like you, I would love to help. But truth be told, you do not need a coach to become an alchemist.
Instead try this:
The next time you notice things going sideways and you want to blame the past (or your parents) simply stop and ask yourself this question instead:
“What I am believing that is not true is….?” or
“The story I am telling myself is….” (nod to Brene Brown for this one)
Both are excellent alchemist questions. Note your answers and then choose the belief that serves you. Your success and frankly happiness, depends on it.