Road trip?

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Road trip?

I am pretty excited this month because it is “event season” meaning companies all over are gathering together, hosting conferences and investing in their most valuable asset - people. In fact, as I write this I am sitting in an airport enrolee to speak at a two-day conference for the Sandman Hotel Group. Training groups is one of my favourite things to do.

But not everyone has a company to support their professional development. What is you are an entrepreneur like me?

In short, find a conference that inspires you. There are literally 1000’s of meetings, conferences and workshops looking for people who want to grow their business, their bank account or just about any area of your life.

In fact, myself and my colleague Linda Edgecombe have been asked to host one next month that you might be interested in that is sponsored by Ignite Summits. If you are someone who is looking to navigate the proverbial work-life balance with a lot more ease and fun, this might just be for you. Go here for more details:

https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/the-alive-workplace-putting-life-into-work-life-balance-tickets-66599618251

Maybe you are in the mood for a road trip or maybe you want us to come to you? Just say the word. We are on a mission to help more people have a lot more joy, ease and success without sacrificing your sleep, sanity or your heath to get there.

Plus you will get the best laugh you have had in a long time. Promise!

Just hit reply if you would like to know how the Alive Revolution can come to you. :)

In the meantime, wishing you a great month!

Beth

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September is awesome (except for one thing)

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September is awesome (except for one thing)

September is one of my favourite times of the year. The weather is still glorious. I feel ready to wind down vacation-mode (aka eating too much, drinking too much and doing a whole lot of nothing too much) and get back into some old routines. Plus there is that wonderful back-to-school feeling in the air.

I love it. All of it.

There is also this realization that the last third of the year is here and in this first week of September I always dust off my goals that have mostly been neglected all summer and have a look at them.

And I mean have a look. I do not automatically jump back into pursuing them. In fact, I get a bit ruthless here. I look at all the things I intended, wrote down on actual paper or out definitely meant to do and ask myself these questions:

Is this STILL a goal of mine?

If yes, then I re-commit and schedule time in my calendar to work on it.

If no, I let it go. No shame. No guilt. No self-flagellation. Just a notice it didn’t mean as much to me as I thought and I cross it off my list. Maybe I will re-visit it in January or maybe I will never pretend to care about it again. Either way, I let myself off the hook for not doing a thing about it the past eight months.

And then I move on.

Do you have any good you are working on this fall (or summer if you are reading this in Australia!)?

Love to hear yours!

b

ps

The not so awesome thing about September is that our daughter has moved away to attend school in another city. Of course, from an intellectual stand point it is a great opportunity for her. From an emotional-mother stand point however our little family equilibrium feels off. Not ready for empty nest over here at all…

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Can this be overcome?

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Can this be overcome?

I finally got myself out to see “Rocketman” a pseudo biopic of the great Elton John. Even if you are not a fan of his music (but can you not be??) you will be for sure be impressed with his musical genius. The way he writes music to songs is mind-blowing.

But that is not actually what impressed me most about the film.

What stayed me long after the movie credits rolled was how crappy Elton’s childhood was. Perhaps that “just the way people raised kids in England then” but the level of emotional neglect and coldness he was raised in surprised me.

Now Elton is not the first person to be raised by inept parents and certainly will not be the last, but it does beg the question:

Can you ‘get over’ a bad childhood? Yes.

What is it was really bad? Even abusive. Yes.

What if it was fraught with dysfunction and tragedy at every turn? Yes.

How do I know? Because I am an alchemist. And so are you if you choose to be.

Because a bad (even really, really bad) childhood is not actually the thing that stays with you. It is the beliefs you created about yourself along the way. I am unlovable or I am unworthy are the two most common beliefs that are born out of people treating you badly. And like Elton, it can lead to you finding dysfunctional ways to find love or worse, not believing you are worthy of it at all.

And that my friend is simply false.

Which is why alchemy is called for here. The term itself comes from science and relates to the transmutation of metals - like lead into gold. Alchemy in personal development is pretty much the same thing. Take an old limiting belief or story and turn it into gold. Find the gem in how this old story taught you a powerful lesson and lean into it.

An alchemist always challenges beliefs about the self - especially if those beliefs are negative and self-limiting. I have coached heaps of people who carry around some old beliefs that often get in the way of them building a thriving business, leading empowered teams, having healthy relationships or in how they treat their body.

If this sounds like you, I would love to help. But truth be told, you do not need a coach to become an alchemist.

Instead try this:

The next time you notice things going sideways and you want to blame the past (or your parents) simply stop and ask yourself this question instead:

“What I am believing that is not true is….?” or

“The story I am telling myself is….” (nod to Brene Brown for this one)

Both are excellent alchemist questions. Note your answers and then choose the belief that serves you. Your success and frankly happiness, depends on it.

Choose well,

Beth

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Ready or not...here I go!

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Ready or not...here I go!

Ever have one of those goals that have been on your vision board, mind or dream list for a looooooong time? I have and this weekend and get to tick one off.

On Sunday I leave with three of my friends on a 75 km trek along Canada’s famous west coast trail. It is not for the faint of heart. Over the course of a week we will have to navigate our way up and down ladders (70 of them!), streams, tides, roots, trees, mud, rocks and hopefully even walk on an actual trail all while carrying every single thing we need in our 40+ pound packs the whole way.

While it might be the hardest thing I have ever done I am excited for the adventure. Along with all my food, gear and water I also plan on tucking into my backpack reverence for the environment, wonder and a sense of humour too.

How about YOU?

What are some of your big dreams? When I am speaking I always invite my audience to make an alive list which, is pretty simple if you want to play along.

Here is how it works:

Grab a blank sheet of paper and split it into two columns. One column title it “every day alive”. This is for things you love to do in your evert day life that make you feel…alive. Like dinner parties with friends. Or paddling on your favourite lake. Or walking with your dogs. Or gardening in your yard. Or creating things with your hands. You get the idea - the only criteria is you love doing these things and easy to do on a daily or weekly basis.

Your next column is called “dream alive”. This list for for bigger joy-ticket items. Traveling to another country. Once-in-a-lifetime adventures. Owning something spectacular. Epic concerts. Big, big dream kind of things you have thought about doing or having or experiencing forever.

This is your ALIVE list.

Now is the fun part. Choose one thing from either side and make a plan to DO it. Pick one this to do this week from your everyday alive list week and one from your dream alive list side you will do this year.

You will be glad you did!

With that I am off on my adventure - good vibes and sunshine welcome. :)

Beth

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This is us.

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This is us.

Today I celebrate my 20th anniversary with my husband Ben and over the year’s I have written and talked about what I believe the essential ingredients are to living happily ever after but today I have invited a guest blogger.

My husband.

When asked what he thinks are the secrets to love that lasts (or at least with me!) this is what he said:

1. ME TO WE. When you get married you can no longer just think about yourself. Now the other person matters just as much.

2. SUPPORT. If they have a dream, goal or thing they love, support is key. I am so grateful for all the times my wife has stood at the side of roads cheering me on.

3. CELEBRATE. Occasions. Milestone’s. Birthdays. Holidays. Achievements. Big stuff. Little stuff. Well everything.

4. OTHER PEOPLE. Surround yourself with other people you can laugh it, do stuff it, create memories with, who support you and share your life with.

5. DO STUFF. Memories are made when you do stuff together. We have done so many great things - concerts, trips, parties, events, occasions

and

5.5 LOVE LANGUAGE. It’s a thing. Figure it out and do your best to love them that way.

There you go! I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Love to hear your story of how you are staying together and what works for you. (and if you are not, I am always here to help).

To making love last,

b

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 The power of the pause

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The power of the pause

Last week I was speaking to a group of city managers and professionals about how to cultivate resiliency when times get tough. I don’t know about you but I have definitely had my share of tough stuff come my way.

The kind of stuff that ruins your whole day.

Or week.

Or month.

Or year.

Maybe you can relate.

The key to being able to cope when life gets hard is your primary foods.

Primary foods?

Not what you eat.

But what feeds your life.

There are FOUR areas but today I am just going to talk about one. One of those such “foods” happen to be the most common thing most high-achieving people have trouble making time for. Can you guess?

Doing nothing. That is the hardest thing I ever ask my audiences or private clients to do.

Pause.

Stop.

Be.

Without texting, scrolling, multi-tasking or doing anything other than being.

Since it is the start of the month, it is the perfect time to cultivate a new habit and my suggestion is to start a daily practice of pausing.

Consider what might improve if even for a few minutes a day your were able to ground yourself, get clear on the things that matter most and start your day from a place of centred-ness vs rushed or scattered or no intention whatsoever?

Just try it.

Personally I am using my beautiful new mala as part of my daily practice but there is no right or wrong way to cultivate a spiritual or mindful practice.

All you need to do is a little…nothing.

Let me know how it goes!

b

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un coup de coeur

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un coup de coeur

I love milestones. Important dates. Significant moments. Big birthdays. This year my husband turned 50 and given the choice to celebrate it any way he wanted, he chose Montreal.

To give this some contest, you have to understand that he is a HUGE Montreal Canadiens fan. As in his favourite hockey team. He grew up watching the game and for his birthday he wanted to see his favourite team play in their hometown arena.

So travel to Montreal we did.

But this trip isn’t just about hockey. It is about re-connecting with our dear friends. It is about exploring a province we have never been to. It is about immersing ourselves into francophone culture, Canadian history and some of the oldest architecture in North America.

We have seen some amazing sites and that alone has been great but each day’s adventures has been amplified by something you cannot get from a mere tourist attraction. The best part of our trip has been the people we have met and shared it with. We have been fed, surprised, pampered, toured and welcomed into the most amazing home and hearts this week. I cannot barely put it into words adequately.

There is an expression in French I learned this week - “un coup de coeur” which loosely translated means “a favourite moment”. Each night after all the busyness of the day we sit around a table and share our “un coup de coeur “. Where English and French blur into one delicious conversation. Sometimes this takes us over an hour to get through all the celebrating, gratitude and the joy we have felt from the day.

This noting of favourite moments has been the very best part of this trip.

Maybe you have a tradition like this too? If not, I invite you to try it. All you have to do is gather some people (your colleagues, your neighbours, your family, your friends) and gather around a table. Then simple share your “un coup de coeur “ or favourite moment of the day.

Your heart will thank you.

From Montreal with love,

b

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 This made me sick

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This made me sick

A few years ago I got the big idea to take singing lessons. I always loved music. And I loved singing. I just wanted to learn how to be better at it. I did not have a dream of becoming a rock star or anything, it was just something I wanted to do for me.

I found a great teacher and set up a meeting meet with her. She bought me into her studio where all the lessons take place. In this room was a keyboard, mixing board, computer, full length mirror and a microphone and stand for where the students stand. This is where I would come each week.

And it made me feel totally and completely sick.

For real.

Just standing in the room I wanted to throw up. The teacher asked me to sing a few bars into the microphone and it was like my throat was completely closed except for the squeaking sound that came out of my mouth. And I was convinced I was going to be sick right there and then. I explained what was happening to the teacher and this is what she said:

"Clearly this means something to you. Vomit it if you want but let your voice out".

So I signed up for lessons.

I am not sure how much I improved as a vocalist in the end but in those months when I showed up to sing I realized that singing was just personal growth workshop disguised as lessons.

I learned how to breathe.

I learned how to express myself even when I was nervous.

I learned how to quiet the voice in my head that said “you suck at this”

I learned how to just sing for the pure joy of singing songs I loved.

I learned how to make singing about the lyrics and the music not about me.

I ended my music lessons with one of the worst public performances I have ever given on a stage however I am still talking about it. Because doing the thing that terrified me helped me. Singing gave me confidence. It gave me courage to express myself. I am positive it helped me launch my coaching business. And it most definitely helped me become a speaker.

Today someone posted on facebook that they felt terrified to even post they were interested in the speaking academy. The idea that they have a message to share. Does she dare even say it out loud?

I wondered if even the thought of saying yes was making her a little sick too. Maybe you can relate. Saying yes to becoming a speaker. Or a leader. Or letting your voice be heard can be scary. 100%

To that I say: "Clearly this means something to you. Vomit it if you want but let your voice out”.

http://www.thealiverevolution.com/alive-speaker-academy/

Starts this Thursday!

To being heard,

Beth

PS

Singing is not a requirement of this course - but you can if you want to!

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This is worse than death (apparently)

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This is worse than death (apparently)

If you google fear you will get about 1,080,000,000 results. This is a BIG google topic. And of all the studies done on fear it might suprise you that there is something we fear more than death (death ranks number 2).

Public speaking.

The truth is we are not actual afraid of public speaking. We are afraid of public humiliation. The fear of completely embarrassing ourselves publicly is not something as easy to overcome as you think. Oh sure, there are the “just do it” mantras out there and while it is true that “just doing it” increases your confidence over time, it is also true that your worst fear can be realized too.

This happened to me just last year.

I was asked to be the closing keynote of a three day event. I was asked to take about aging wildly and choosing an alive kind of life - one of my favourite topics. I was all ready to bring a great close to the event. Because the event was local I was able to pop in earlier in the day and get a feel for the audience and the theme of the conference. It was then the first nigglings of worry crept in.

The room felt “done”. Like when you eat triple scoop ice cream cone when a single scoop would have been perfect. Virtually every single person in the audience looked either asleep or sat looking at their phones. Zero engagement, energy or interest. By the time I took the stage at 3:30pm, a third of the room had already left the conference.

But I brought my best A-game. My best stories. My best accelerated learning techniques. My best content. My best energy. And the room just flatlined anyway. No-one needed or wanted one more piece of content, activity or learning. As they say in the biz, this was a tough crowd. But I did my thing and then, like everyone else in the room, left as quickly as possible.

My worst fear happened and then I let it go.

Now, in the past I would have thrown a pity party or berated myself for being the worst speaker of all time or let a tough engagement shake my confidence completely. But it didn’t and do you know why? Because I have learned some tricks of the trade and one of the tricks is to only ask myself two questions when I get off the stage (whether it was a “bad” or “good” keynote):

what did I like best? and what would I do next time?

That’s it.

No room for berating. Just celebrating and learning.

So let’s get back to fear of public speaking. The best speakers out there are not good because they are naturals. They are good because they practice. They are good because they have learned the foundations of what makes a great (versus not so great) talk. They have learned how to tell great stories. They learned what to say at the beginning and the end in ways that are memorable. And they have mastered the most important thing of all: their self doubt.

So let’s say you want to be a speaker.

Or just master talking in front of people when you have something important to say.

Then I would love to invite you to join me and my colleague Linda Edgecombe in helping you learn how. With simplicity. With practicality. And laughter. Because we think laughter is essential to making learning fun.

http://www.thealiverevolution.com/alive-speaker-academy/

The early bird pricing ends Friday.

This might not be for you but if you know an aspiring speaker or a someone who has a message that needs to be heard, please share this opportunity to learn how.

And kick that number #1 fear t the curb!

Because I believe everyone has a story that needs to be heard. And I would love to help you tell it.

Beth

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The simplest way to learn anything

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The simplest way to learn anything

So last week I am coaching a new couple I just started working with and at the start of the session I always ask for celebrations and I just had to share theirs.

First, a bit of back story. 

This couple came to me with a surprisingly common relationship breakdown story. They love each other. They want to stay married. But they fight. A lot.

And the fights last for hours or even days. So much so they are struggling to remember what they even like about each other anymore. And there always seems to be “something” that gets in the way of re-connecting.

If you have ever hot a rough patch in your relationship you can probably relate.

But this week, they were celebrating how powerful the relationship formula is. They are trying to really keep things “light” when they interact with each other and they are already noticing positive changes. They are so excited about this, they cannot stop sharing with friends who are also going through a ‘rough patch’.

Thus the celebration I want to share.

My clients told me every time they teach it to someone they know, the formula makes more sense to them and they find themselves really applying it.

Music to my ears!

I believe this little gem can be applied to anything you are trying to learn because when your teach something it always deepens your own learning.

If you don’t believe me, test it out.

Pick a new skill or something you are trying to learn. Spend a bit of time so you really understand it. Practise what you learned. Then find someone you can explain it to.

Learn it. Practice it. Teach it. Master it.

Then tell me how it went for you!

To sharing with friends,

Beth

ps

If you want to learn the relationship formula check out my free video series that explains it. http://www.mindsetcoaching.com/mistakes

PPS

Last chance to take my January survey and be entered into the draw to WIN a free coaching session with me. https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/JDVY22L

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Happy anniversary + a quiz

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Happy anniversary + a quiz

People often ask me how I got into coaching and the short answer is:

I hired one.

Back in 2003 I was feeling really lost. I had been a social worker for most of my adult life. We had a three year old and a one year old. I knew I loved helping but could not go back to my old job. And we were really, really broke. I thought I had only two choices:

Do the job I loved but was burnt out at

or

Doing a new kind of job I didn’t love but be paid well

And in the midst of all this angst, somebody recommended a life coach. Well, she had me at hello. By the end of the hour, I has a huge aha:

I wasn’t done helping just how and who I helped in the world.

This coaching session changed my life. Truly and as a result I immediately set out to become certified as a life coach and have been doing it ever since. In fact, this week marks my 15th year in business. Whoa. I feel very proud of my little company that I launched back in 2004 and where it is today.

So in the spirit of where all coaching begins, with great questions, I am hoping you are willing to answer a few for me and tell me where you are at this January. Your answers will help me to write, coach and speak more to the subjects that are most relevant to you.

And to thank you, by completing the survey, you will be entered to win a FREE one-one-hour coaching session with me just for taking the time to fill it out.

Here is it:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/JDVY22L

To conversations that matter,

Beth

Ps

In the spirit of transparency, I am launching a new speaking academy this year so you will see a question asking how you feel about speaking. That’s why :)

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How I plan my year....

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How I plan my year....

January.

New year.

Blank canvas.

The months ahead to do anything you want and…

oh the pressure to have it all figured out!

I find January pretty interesting. Everywhere on social media people are posting their plans and epic goals and all the ways they are in action and, frankly it can be a little intimidating.

If you are already off to a great start, yay you. Keep going!

But if by chance you are not exactly clear on your 2019 plan just yet, I have a invitation for you.

Join me for ‘lunch’ next week.

On Monday, January 14th, at noon, my friend and all-things-alive-collaborator Linda Edgecombe and I will be sharing exactly how we plan our year. Our business goals. Our personal goals. You know, our life. ;-)

https://zoom.us/meeting/register/150cc69479fe392f7c24e00bf0acd2b8

If you cannot make the call live, be sure to register so you can get the recording sent to you.

Here’s to making goal-setting effective and easy!

Beth

PS

If you want to get a jump start, go buy some colured post it notes!

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Three simple questions to end your year feeling good

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Three simple questions to end your year feeling good

It’s been awhile since I have written a blog. I have heaps of reasons I could come up with but the truth is I just didn’t make the time to do it. But here I am again. Hello!

How was your year?

I have spent the past two week asking all of my private clients that exact question. I even had the pleasure of meeting one of them in person at local coffee shop where we could look back at 2018 and move into 2019 without any regret. We do this by only discussing three questions. These questions are so powerful and yet so simple that of course, I wanted to share them with you.

Question #1: What were my WINS?

Did our business grow? Did you finish a big project you set out to do in January? Did you end a toxic relationship? Did you fall in love? Did you go on an adventure? Did you make time for you? Did you kick some butt in the world? Did you make a difference? Now is the time to pause and celebrate all the good that happened.

Question #2: What were my LEARNS?

One of my favourite authors Brene Brown says “the magic is in the messy”. So what was messy for you this year? Do not make an exhaustive list of all your screw ups. Instead go straight to the punchline and highlight all the things you learned in all the messes. About boundaries. About expectations. About goals you didn’t commit to. About targets you missed. About what really matters to you.

And then when you have all the wins and all the wisdom from this year fresh in your mind, cast your vision for 2019 with this:

Question #3: What will be my WORD for next year?

This is my favourite exercise. I believe that claiming a word for your year inspires manifestation of said word. It helps you create alignment with your goals, plans, yes’s, no’s and pretty much everything you do. Other than that, it has no use whatsoever. ;-)

If you are still reading, then I just want to say I wish you a wonderful close to your year filled with people and conversations that matter.

In the spirit of the Von Trapp’s, “So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu!”

Beth

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Messy drawers.

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Messy drawers.

Messy drawers. 

Last week I was sharing with a group I mentor in Australia that if you are feeling stuck, uninspired or need an energy boost, there is a easy-peasy, simple way to shift.

Ready?

Clean out a drawer.

 We all have them. Drawers that we cram stuff into to save for “sort later” or that does not have a home “yet”. Kitchen drawers. Bathroom drawers. Desk drawers. Junk drawers.Drawers just full of stuff we just don’t feel like dealing with.

Even the neatest of people have at least one space where clutter piles up.

So my coaches challenge to you is simple: pick a drawer you kind of or really hate. You know, the one you can never find what you are looking for when you open it. The one that is filled with paper or old make up or school notices or stuff from 2002 you kept “just in case”.

You know the one.

Now clean it out.

This drawer may have been years in the making but I assure you it is going to take you about 15 minutes to clean it out. Then watch what happens.

To your energy. To your clarity. To your momentum.

You’re welcome.

To shifting,

b

ps

Just 4 spaces left in the ALIVE workshop if you want to keep your momentum going! http://www.thealiverevolution.com/workshops/?mc_cid=8fd9710c4d&mc_eid=95b96b3527

 

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Back to school

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Back to school

Back to school

My children left this morning for the first day of school.
Yesssssssssss!
Don’t get me wrong, I love them dearly but as an entrepreneur who works  from home I am also really loving the quiet of the house today and the return to routines.

Hopefully you had a great summer. but don’t you just love September?  I think the energy of fall has even more momentum than new year’s for powerful re-set’s, re-focusing and re-charging. 

I am excited to tell you about live event I am hosting October 4th right here in the Kelowna, BC called “The Alive Workplace”.

Why?  Because everywhere I go people tell me the same complaints when asked how things are going.  Tired.  Overwhelmed.  Super busy. And stressed out.  Now I could tell you all about stress management tricks and self-care rituals and the benefits of yoga but the truth is, what people really need is to feel ALIVE.  Because when you feel ALIVE, you bring that to work and frankly everywhere you go.  This whole work/life balance thing is easier to master than you think and if your workplace could use a little injection of alive-ness, then this might just be the thing for you.

What do you get?

  • Three (3) hours of live training with myself and co-host Linda Edgecombe
  • The complete Alive Workplace Online Course (6 modules)
  • A private Facebook group to collaborate with other team leaders and influencers
  • The ALIVE Workplace handbook loaded with hand outs and tips to help you create clarity, resiliency, communication, mindfulness and lead your team better.

Who should attend?
Business owners.  Team leaders.  Influencers.  Movers. Shakers.  Essentially people who know that everything gets better - profit, productivity and people - when ALIVE is part of the corporate culture.

Want to join me or send your team? Register here:
http://www.thealiverevolution.com/workshops/?mc_cid=8fd9710c4d&mc_eid=95b96b3527

Can't make it to Kelowna and wondering if we have a remote workshop you can sign up for?  Absolutely.  Just hit reply with a simple "Tell me more..." and we can connect on how to get you hooked up with the ALIVE Workplace Virtual Version.

Whew!  That’s a lot for the first day back to school.

To kick-starting your ALIVE this fall,
Beth

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Give yourself permission

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Give yourself permission

The other day I ran into a friend who is building a new home.  They have excavated and prepped the land it all for the new build and are in the process of finalizing plans and organizing all the moving parts to construct a new beautiful new home.  In the meantime, they have moved into a condo downtown until all the construction is underway and complete.

You might think all of this moving and re-locating to a whole different neighbourhood might seem stressful but the opposite is true.

She is so happy.

She loves everything about downtown.
The vibe.
The walking.
The ease of her life.
Everything has been simplified.

So much so it is tempting her to just sell the land and make downtown living their new thing.

Will they stay?
Or will they stay the course on their original plan?

And therein lies the crux of this blog.

Sometimes we make big, fat, epic goals.
But along the way we lose sight of our why.
Or the goal no longer is a fit.
But we push because "I started it and I am going to finish it".

Now don’t get me wrong.
I am all about having integrity, being consistent and getting to the finish line.
But in this case, not if it doesn’t serve you.

So my coaches challenge to you is this:

Check in.
What goal are you working towards that you set this year
*and*
does it still serve you?

If not, give yourself permission to change course and let it go.
Guilt-free (of course!).
It's as simple as releasing a balloon.
Naturally you can make it more complicated if you want, but personally I would save your energy for important things. 

Like your new goal. :)

To bless and releasing goals,
Beth

ps
Could you use some coaching this fall? I have a three spots open in my calendar for new clients.  Book a complimentary 30 minute discovery session with me any Monday in September!  It would be my pleasure to give my take on how you can create a life and business you love.
http://mindsetcoaching.genbook.com

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What's cookin'?

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What's cookin'?

What’s cookin’?

Okay normally "what's cookin?’" is just an expression for "what's up?" or "whatcha working on?" but in this case I really mean it.

Summer (for those of us in the western hemisphere!) brings a bounty of fresh fruits and vegetables to the farmers markets and it makes me so happy.  I love supporting our local growers plus it gives me the perfect excuse to make my all-time favourite pasta recipe.

Not only it is super simple but it is the very first dinner my husband ever cooked for me (yes, he is far more accomplished in the kitchen than me - so much so he made a recipe he cut out of the paper to try for the very first time and it was ah-mazing).

It is now our official “anniversary” dinner but we make it any time we see fresh cherry tomatoes.

Want to create your own love dinner?  Here s the recipe:

3/4 pound (350g of your fusilli or your fav pasta)
3 tablespoons of olive oil
4 cups of cherry tomatoes (halved)
4-6 garlic cloves (your choice!)
1/4 cup chopped fresh tarragon (this is what makes it so great)
2-3 tablespoons of balsamic vinegar
salt & pepper

Method:  Boil water and add pasta.  While pasta is cooking heat oil and add tomatoes and garlic.  Cook for 5-7 minutes or until liquid-y.  Remove from heat.  Add tarragon, vinegar, salt & pepper and toss over hot pasta.  Voila!  

You're welcome.

To love meals,
Beth

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Table 8

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Table 8

This photo might look like any ol table and glassware but I assure you it is not.
This is table 8.
The place where I sat last night at the most extraordinary event  - “concert in the cellars” - in support of the Okanagan Symphony Orchestra.

Picture this:
A reception and dinner filled with exquisite food, paired wine and the incredible sounds of the cello vibrating amidst the stainless steel wine tanks in the cellar of the winery.  It was quite an evening.

But that wasn’t the best part.  The best part was table 8.  Aside from my friend who had invited me, I sat with 6 other strangers whom I had never met but by the end of the night we were all laughing, hugging and planning our next get together.

And do you know why?
Because of being interested vs. interesting.

You can go to any event, party or social gathering and find three groups of people:

The not interested.
The interesting.
The interested.

The not interested types are pretty self explanatory.  You introduce yourself to them and they are not really interested in you.  Conversation is strained, painful or distracted and it usually goes nowhere.

The interesting types are far more amusing.  They often the extroverts, story-tellers and fun people you meet but they are can also be non-interested in what anyone else has to say.  Not all interesting people are interested.

Then there are the interested.  These are people who are genuinely curious about who you are, how you think and the things that make up you.  They are my favourite kind of people and I always gravitate towards those types.

I have no idea if table 8 had not-interested, interesting or interested people at it when I sat down but I do know that by a few of us asking a few unusual, interested questions, the whole table became engaged.  Sharing little tidbits of our lives.  Not so much what we do for a living but how people met, or how much they love to cook, or what they do for fun or the party lines they used where they grew up.  In just three hours I found out a lot about these people and all this being interested led to the simplest most powerful thing that is critical to everything you want to do in life:

create connection.

You need it for growing your business.
You need it for growing your relationships.
You need it for growing your alive-ness.

So the nest time you are somewhere with a bunch of strangers I hope you take a page from table 8.  Just dare to be interested.  All it takes is the courage to ask a not-normal or pat question and delight in where it leads you.

To conversations that matter,
Beth

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On self doubt

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On self doubt

I coach a lot of successful people.  Serious game-changers, global-shifters, big dreamers kind of people.  And I learned in the many, many conversations that I have had is that no one is immune to self-doubt.  No one.  

You get the idea to launch new idea?  “Will it work?” said the inner critic in your mind.  You come up with something new.  “Is it even original at all?.  You muster the courage to write, create, make or simply do something that inspires you to share it with the world and sure enough “Will anyone even care about this?” shows up too.

This photo above is me looking and feeling very small the night before the Amplified Leadership Event.  I remember standing on that huge stage in Australia in the biggest venue and audience I have ever spoken to before and that self-doubt voice was LOUD.  “What possessed you to say yes to this?”  I was terrified of everything.  Forgetting everything I had prepared.  Paling in comparison to those I shared the stage with.  Screwing up day 1 of the event.  Letting my friend down.  You name it I thought it.  But I did it. In spite of really doubting I could.

This isn’t one of those “feel the fear and do it anyway” kind of posts.

This is instead simply to say, expect it.  Do not be surprised when self-doubt shows up.  It will.  There is not magic pill for over-coming it but this something you can do when it does: accept it.

Partner with it.
Dance with it.
Play with it.
Use it even.

Just do not let “it” run the show. It can watch from the sidelines.  It can hang out back stage.  But it is you who ultimately steps into the ring and it is this act of stepping into the ring that changes everything.  Your confidence.  Your mastery.  Your success.   Whether or to you rock it or it all ends in a complete disaster does to matter as much as your willingness to just do your thing.

The act of just showing up.  With your fear.  With your doubt.  With your anxiety.  Is all you ever need to do.

May the odds be ever in your favor.
xo

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The writing on the wall

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The writing on the wall

There is a poem that writes about the “dash” that says what matters is not the day we start and end our life as much as what we do in the ‘in between’.

I have been thinking about this a lot this week as I had the privilege to honour the passing of my husband’s grand father Alan who had lived 97 years.   And in those 97 years he managed to accumulate 13 children, 34 grandchildren and 47 great-great children.  If you are doing the math,  that’s 94 direct descendants.  Aka a lot.

Needless to say, it was quite a celebration of life.

And although I don’t know a lot of people who would say that funerals are easy, but I think the rituals surrounding a death are an important part of the grieving process.  I find them to be beautiful and poignant and this one was particularly so.  Every step of the way there were personal items, stories, collections and photos to remind people of the ‘dash’ that had been lived.

But it is what was behind the scenes that is maybe the best part of this story.  In Alan (and Vera’s) home where they raised and gathered this epic family for the past 72 years, there is this fantastic door in the kitchen.  And on this door you will find the names of all the children who ever lived or came into this house and the dates when they got "measured up".

It was an important part of coming to Nana and Papa's house.

Children who came into this home were seen.  Noticed.  And stood by the door to see how much they had grown since their last visit.

Seen.
Noticed.
And celebrated.

And isn’t that what life should really be about?

These three things can be found at the heart of anything successful and good.  Families.  Friendships.  Companies.  Communities.  Corporations.  Organizations.  Groups with humans.  When people feel significant and appreciated, well, magic happens.

I think Alan would feel pretty proud to have the ritual of truly seeing and celebrating people to be the legacy he passed on.

So here’s to remembering what matters (writing on doors optional but recommended!).
Beth

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