...It is a powerful question and just by asking it says a lot about you already.
When you dare to stop and pause about your relationship - or any area of your life for that matter - it says to me you are someone who is not on auto-pilot. You are someone who believes that relationships are not something that you simply “have” but something you create.
My favourite kind of person.
The first step in any relationship re-set is to determine where you are. Now if you are assessing your bank account, it is pretty simple. The math says it all. Not a lot of room for interpretation.
Relationships are simple to assess too - just not as objective as your bank account - but since it is YOUR relationship we are talking about here, well I think subjectivity is a good thing. After all, you are the only one who knows how your relationship feels to you. And that is our point of assessment.
It’s time to rate your relationship.
This is the question I ask every single person who asks me for relationship coaching. It just gets to the heart of where things are at with one simple question.
Think about the relationship you most want to re-set (or get better, improve, make awesome or just more bearable) and now you are ready to assess it.
What would you rate this relationship out of 10?
To give this some context, a 10/10 is the ultimate relationship. Pretty much perfect. Stellar connection, affection, trust, fun, intimacy, love, communication - you name it. Whatever is important to you, this relationship has it.
0/10 would be the complete opposite. The worst relationship ever. Toxic. Horrible. Painful. Awful. Whatever is important to you, this relationship most definitely does not have it.
Now that you have the range, time to rate yours.
Keep in mind, all relationships fluctuate. Some days might be stellar, some kind of rough and some pretty good. Just give your rating of the average of all those days. You know how your relationship generally feels when you factor all the days together.
When you have your number out of 10, get your results.